Hi Karolina,

My partner has a disorganized attachment style and I have an anxious attachment style. Sometimes when we are triggered it feels like I’m being pushed away energetically, often through shortness in our interactions. My response is usually to give them lots of space and not engage, which worked best for us in the past. But now we are learning that my partner actually needs me to move closer, ask them about it, and connect. I struggle to do this because of my upbringing – if someone was upset it was best for me to stay out of the way. I know my partner wants more engagement when they are upset, but I can’t recall that in the moment and have the complete opposite reaction. It has been coming up for us a lot, we keep seeing the pattern but not much is changing in the moments. What are your suggestions for us?