Addictions come in many forms: drugs, alcohol, porn, technology, food, gambling, shopping, love, sex and many more. Initially, whichever addiction you chose brought about relief and there were limited consequences. And as the addiction progressed the cost vs. benefit began to show a greater and greater disparity. Regardless of the manifestation of the addiction there are common behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that make the life of an addict difficult to maintain.
There is a feeling of being on a merry-go-round, often the cycle manifests as follows: You might begin your day with a desire to not do your addiction that day, or at least just do a little. You overdid it the night before and have to show up for your life today. The shame and guilt feelings are pretty bad this morning and you hope those feelings will go away soon. You actually feeling like this might be the time when you can make it through the day and not use! As you go about your day you notice that your fuse is a little short, people are especially annoying or needy today. You are snapping at people and there is this nagging feeling that something is not quite right. Work finishes up and your buddy asks if you want to grab a drink, or driving home from work you drive past your favorite fast food restaurant, or when getting home you think just a few minutes of watching porn will take the edge off. And before you know it you're drunk again, or binged again, or its been hours and you're still watching porn. Falling asleep that night or waking the next morning you resolve again to not use that day; and the cycle continues.
Of course, you may have shorter or longer periods of this cycle, maybe staying clean or sober for a few days or weeks when you really work at it. But the common element is the inability to stay stopped when you want to, there is always a point when the addict gives into their addiction. So how does the addict who can not stop on their own find a way out of this cycle? The solution is often multi-faceted. Those who really want to get out of the cycle, and are willing to put in some effort, can find a far more meaningful life than the shallow and hopeless feelings that come from addiction. The solution often involves a combination of some of these services: groups (inpatient or out-patient), detox, counseling, 12-step programs, and possibly changes in diet and medication. There is no one-size-fits all way to stop addictions, but there are many resources and people who are knowledgeable of combinations that work.
Our society is rampant with all forms of addiction, and the amount of people suffering from addiction is substantial. Yet one of the major pains of the addict is the shame, guilt, and loneliness that come from the behaviors and consequences of using. This shame, guilt, and loneliness is a huge factor in keeping the addict stuck. Know you are not alone, many, many others feel how you feel, think how you think, and act how you act. When the addict can begin to sense they are not alone then hope and healing are near.
At this point you are probably thinking, "I don't want to deal with this! I don't want to talk with people about this! And actually my addiction is working just fine for me. Its the only thing in my life I can rely on, and I'm not going to give that up for something that won't even work for me!" If this is even close to what you are thinking then you probably are close to something that will help you. Often the addict inside gets pretty upset when something challenges the status quo. So just make note of that voice and see if there is another voice in there that is interested, hopeful, or just plain sick and tired of all pain and suffering you have been going through.
I offer 9 years of experience working in the field of addictions and also personal experience in recovering from addictions. I have first hand experience with the suffering, pain, and hopelessness that comes from walking the path of an addict. I am here to assist you in seeing what your next step is. There often needs to be an assessment done to see if detox or inpatient is necessary, or just to speak about what your particular life will allow for and what will benefit you most. I am often surprised at how quickly addicts can begin to find a new life that is much richer than what they have known before. Often having even a small kernel of willingness can open the door to a new way of living that allows for forward movement rather than just more of the same old cycle of addiction.
“Karolina walks her talk, her ability to meet another in their capacities is sensational because she has done her own work” -Diane Israel
"An effective therapist needs to do at least two things: be compassionate and provide constructive feedback that actually changes the way people experience the world. I see many therapists who can do one or the other. I routinely watch Karolina do both..." -Patrick Weeg