Attachment and relational coaching is a type of life coaching that supports an individual’s attachment and relational patterns, with self and others, to reach goals and work through issues. Attachment theory states that the type of bond with our original caregivers has tremendous impact on our futures in all sorts of ways. While attachment theory understands these attachment and relational styles as somewhat fixed, I understand them as states that we flow between. If we can learn about our styles and understand where they came from we can treat them like states to be worked with. We work with these states through psychoeducation, somatic resourcing, insight, problem solving and processing of emotion. Working with these attachment and relational states while exploring your desire for a more satisfying job, experience of partnership, or a more easeful day-to-day experience is invaluable because it gets at the deeper system at play that keeps the pattern going. Once the pattern is understood and worked through we naturally respond from a more resourced and grounded place, automatically making wiser and more congruent choices. 

For example, if you would like to find an occupation that really suits you, it is important to discover what didn’t work in the past. In our work together, we may discover a pattern in your last three jobs of conflict with your bosses followed by you quickly resigning. With deeper investigation it’s possible that all three bosses reminded you of your mom (or dad, or brother, or teacher) who was overwhelming and intrusive. To look deeply at this pattern with your mom (or other), to see the complexities there, and process through that will be helpful in making different choices in your relationship to work. After processing and working through this, you may find that you are not as bothered by employers who in the past would have caused you to feel overwhelmed. Or you may see clearly, and develop the tools to say, what you want to your boss to clear up problems that in the past would have left you feeling overlooked and undervalued in the workplace. On the other hand you may be much more aware of situations that are not good for you right from the listing or interview, rather than in the past denying the obvious red flags that were present for you and being shocked when the same situation happens again.

 In exploring coaching, we will focus on psychoeducation, mindfulness skills, communication skills, somatic resourcing, and your history as it impacts present moment challenges. Coaching utilizes personal strategic planning, values clarification, brainstorming, motivational counseling, and other counseling techniques. However, in contrast to psychotherapy, coaching does not involve diagnosis, testing, assessment, or treatment of mental health disorders. In the coaching context, the relationship between us is specifically designed to avoid the power differentials that occur in the psychotherapy relationship.  Instead, the relationship is designed to be a relationship among equals – you provide the information about your goals, interests, and issues you want addressed and we work together to create a plan for achieving those goals and addressing the issues.  

 The arch of our work together can take one of two tracks: The first one is a six week, track in which we meet once a week and dive right into the specific goal or problem you want to sort out. We will come up with homework, experientials, and somatic resources for you to practice in between sessions. You are free to forgo the in-between session work at your discretion, though it is helpful to put effort into the coaching work if you can. At the end of six weeks, or before if you feel complete, we will have a closing session with integration of the last six weeks. If you would like to continue on after the  six weeks with another issue, or to continue to explore the current one, we can reassess and find out what would be most useful for you. 

 The second track is a slower pace, without a set amount of sessions. This can be useful for people who like to do things slower, or who would like to meet less frequently. Because this is a coaching format, having a goal or issue to work on will be important in what we do, but with this track we can explore at a more intuitive and slower pace. We can decide if structured homework is helpful for you, or if you prefer a looser expectation in-between sessions. When you feel like the work with me is complete, at least for the time being, I request a closing session for integration of our work together and to have an intentional ending.

 Both of these tracks offer a different experience and are valuable in their own way. If you have any questions or would like to set up a free consultation, fill out the contact form below and indicate whether you are looking for coaching or psychotherapy.