#048 - Shame: That bad feeling

#048 - Shame: That bad feeling

There is this feeling that at times can be hard to name, it often comes in the morning right when you wake up, before you begin to distract yourself. In the body it is a sinking or dropping feeling in the stomach, a lack of energy, difficulty in lifting the head and looking the world in the eye, or my personal fave: a deep self loathing that brings into question my very existence as a being on the earth. Fun!

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#044 - How long will my healing take?

#044 - How long will my healing take?

I have asked this question many times. I have asked it to friends, therapists, lovers, the universe, God, you name it. I have heard spiritual teachers talk about it, offering techniques for the “fast track” to spiritual enlightenment. I have tried really, really, hard to heal myself. And some of it has seemed to work. I am different than I was 10 years ago, that’s for sure. I am less likely to drink myself into a black out (extremely less likely!).

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#042 - What is this like?

#042 - What is this like?

I recently returned from a meditation retreat on the east coast. I was excited to go and have many days of silence and the freedom to go deep into my own experience without many distractions. Though daily mindfulness practice and meditation are important there exists something special when we can be in deep silence and practice for an extended period of time. Our culture is very much focused on the up feeling, getting high, being excited, the big “Wow.” Those moments are wonderful and leave us feeling the joy of life. But they are also only part of the picture. When we embark on any journey of discovery we must be willing to treat the “wow’s” and the “ugh’s” equally: One to raise us up when we are bogged down, and one to humble us when we think we got it all figured out.

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#028 - It's still going to take a lifetime, no matter how hard you try!

#028 - It's still going to take a lifetime, no matter how hard you try!

At some point in my teens I became very good at slacking. I was skilled at not doing what I was supposed to and doing what I wasn’t supposed to as much as possible. For instance, getting high before basketball practice, skipping school, stealing, applying only to colleges that didn’t require an essay in the application were all tools of my trade.

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#015 - Loving Alcoholic/Addicts, A Wonderful Opportunity!

#015 - Loving Alcoholic/Addicts, A Wonderful Opportunity!

Alcoholics and addicts have been some of the most amazing, frustrating, and downright ridiculous people I have ever had the privilege of working with. These are the people who are destroying their lives, the lives of the people they love, and their own sanity to have just one more go at making their addiction work. They go through benders, for days or weeks, and emerge saying, “I promise to never do that again.” And a few hours, days, or weeks later they are back at it. If you have the curse/privilege of loving one of these people you are in for a ride, often you will wish you never met them! Then other times you will be struck by their sensitivity, huge heart, charisma, passion, and charm and feel their potential under all that chaos.

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