Sometimes when I am working with my clients I will notice a tightening in my throat, or a speediness in my thoughts. I will be caught up in what is going to happen from a perspective somewhat removed from the aliveness of the moment. What can, at times, feel like a wonderful connection with my client becomes a distancing experience. There could be many things happening when I experience this. One reason could be I'm picking up on something actually happening between us, or I'm caught in some enactment with my client that is unconscious, or maybe my stuff is getting touched and I want to get away from it. Regardless of the reason why I am feeling this body and cognitive reaction the first step is to slow down and cease trying.
Cease trying to fix, understand, blame, shame, condemn, retreat, run from, analyze. All that stuff that we do when we are uncomfortable. Begin to settle down into the experience, slow down, allow, say yes to, yield into, embrace. All that stuff that we do when we're feeling pretty good! This might seem counterintuitive but trust, the pathway to understanding and helping yourself begins with ceasing to try and beginning to yield.
Next time you are in a conversation with someone and your button gets pushed, and your reaction begins know you are not alone. It happens to me all the time! And also know nothing wrong or bad is happening - this is the natural result of having a human body! We are impacted by people, our environment, and subtle shifts internally and externally we are not aware of. Experiment with being connected to exactly what it is like to have a tight throat, a knot in your belly, and racing mind and say a silent internal yes to the experience of being alive.
Karolina Walsh Psychotherapy
Providing psychotherapy, counseling, and support for grief, addictions, trauma, PTSD, relationship issues, and GLBTQIA.
“Karolina walks her talk, her ability to meet another in their capacities is sensational because she has done her own work” -Diane Israel
"An effective therapist needs to do at least two things: be compassionate and provide constructive feedback that actually changes the way people experience the world. I see many therapists who can do one or the other. I routinely watch Karolina do both..." -Patrick Weeg