If you are reading this you might feel like you are sucking at life right now, because if you were a really successful human you probably wouldn’t need me to tell you! Maybe you lost a job, a relationship, your clothes don’t fit right, or you are full of self-pity for the choices you made. Possibly you are looking for a pick-me-up and hope to find yourself in this list. Well if you are a human I guarantee you will find yourself in this list! Ok lets get started…
1.You are alive. Ok yes I know this is an obvious one, but often overlooked! There are a lot of people who have not made it this far, often through no fault of their own. But those of us who have lived this long would do well to acknowledge that to be alive is a blessing even with all the pain and suffering. There really is no other way to work through the hard stuff that will result in more peace, love, and connection. We have to do it in this human body, with these human emotions, and this human mind. So give yourself a pat on the back for making at least good enough decisions to keep the ship above water one more day!
2.You make mistakes. This one may not be so obvious. Most people I know view mistakes as the one thing to be eradicated from their lives. The general consensus is that mistakes hurt, they can mean a loss in money or relationship, or they can take a long time to get over. But here is the good thing about making mistakes, you learn! Yes you really do, I don’t know any other way to learn and learning is a really good thing. We learn how to be more compassionate, kind, and loving. When others make mistakes we are right there with them rather than up in a lofty place looking down on their human failings. Making mistakes is a good way to connect with other humans and feel a sense of belonging.
3.You have trouble in relationships. Everyone has trouble in relationships! Really, I’m not kidding. Even the most prefect people you know struggle to find the balance at times with being in relationship to other people. Some people are better than others with letting there be growth and compassion through the difficult times. But there is no way to avoid the basic fact that some of our greatest teachers will come in the form of humans we love, those we hate, and those we are indifferent to. So if you are struggling with a parent, partner, co-worker, child, family member, or neighbor just know you are right where you are supposed to be! This person is doing you a favor by showing you your sharp edges and helping to smooth them out.
4.People are mad at you from time to time. This can be tricky but essential for your own development. If you have a couple people mad at you you’re on the right track! The converse of this is that people are never mad at you, now that is a real red flag. If you please everyone there is not a lot of room for you to express, have boundaries, say no, have opinions, etc. But if you are actually being your human messy self then people are going to have objections and you are going to step on people’s toes. (Disregard this if you enjoy pissing people off just for the fun of it, you might want to take a look at that!)
5.You doubt yourself. Almost all things I have done in this life, which have been worthwhile, have come with a good helping of doubt. It almost seems like the bigger the risk the bigger the doubt because the ego is so threatened by such a drastic shift in your behavior. Basically if you are doubting then know you are trying something new, and when trying to change habitual patterns trying something new is what its all about.
If you have found yourself in the above list then you are totally rocking being a human today! I know several people who would rather be puppy dogs than humans, but if you are reading this then this is what you’re stuck with. Might as well enjoy what you can, learn where you can, and give yourself a break for not doing it perfectly!
Karolina Walsh Psychotherapy
Providing psychotherapy, counseling, and support for grief, addictions, trauma, PTSD, relationship issues, and GLBTQIA.
“Karolina walks her talk, her ability to meet another in their capacities is sensational because she has done her own work” -Diane Israel
"An effective therapist needs to do at least two things: be compassionate and provide constructive feedback that actually changes the way people experience the world. I see many therapists who can do one or the other. I routinely watch Karolina do both..." -Patrick Weeg